Monthly Musings: Be Thankful For Comfortable Silence
A glance at life right now:
It's 9pm on a weekday evening. As I sit here writing this blog post, I have my headphones in my ear listening to a podcast ("We want the D", a Disney podcast done by some fabulous Torontonians).
I have just finished a cup of tea, am considering another, and am casually taking breaks to disappear into a YouTube hole.
Dinner is long put away, my yoga pants are doing their job of making me look great while keeping me comfortable, and there's a nice spring breeze filtering through the windows.
Kris, the fiancee and instagram hubs extraordinaire, has his noise cancelling headphones on, probably also listening to a podcast. He's at the kitchen table with a glass of soda water with lime (his newest obsession) and he's probably alternating between some kind of personal project and sending out vendor payments for our wedding.
I know he's sending the contracts because I just got an email. I don't think either of us has spoken in about 2 hours.
At one point Kris stopped by my desk to wiggle a tray of snacks under my nose (which I shook my head at, too much dinner!) and give me a kiss. I think at one point I may have gotten up to give him a hug... But as for verbal communication? It's just not happening right now.
These post dinner silences are common in our home. Kris and I both work full days and hustle by night, so we tend to get into a work groove sometime in the hour after dinner and say very little to each other.
Considering our apartment is MAYBE 800 square feet, and we're about 10 feet apart, you'd think this would be awkward. The thing is though, this comfortable silence works for us. In a world where we are CONSTANTLY connected, it's nice to take a break even from each other to get stuff done.
"So like... when do you talk?" - ALL THE TIME. But more seriously, we have dinner together every night at the table, with our TV off and our phones away. We chat during dinner prep, the meal, we linger after until we feel it's time to clean up, and then it's off to our computers until about 9:30 when we snuggle up on the couch to read or watch some TV together.
I figure I have about 15 minutes left for this stream of consciousness post.
So what is the thesis of this rambling?
Getting used to a comfortable silence with your partner is LIBERATING. We are always expected to be so ON in our social media driven society. We spend all day at work interacting with peers and clients, our time with friends is meant to be full of conversation and laughter. And kids? Ask any parent how much silence they get in their day.
The one person (aside from yourself) who you can just be QUIET with? Your partner.
Thank goodness for the partner who just lets you grind on your laptop, read a book, or take a nap on the couch without being offended you aren't talking to them; thank goodness for the partner who doesn't need constant stimulation from you so that you can do all of those things.
And thank goodness for the partner you can say anything to and share anything with, between the silences.
xxox - Laura