Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Letting Go Of Your Hatred

Today, I want to do something that I don't often do on this blog, and write about something off the cuff that I can't get off my mind.

This wasn't the post I wanted to write today, but it's itching to get out so it's the post you're going to get.

Today I want to talk about hatred.

In the last week of completely ridiculous rape-convictions and terrifying acts of violence against the gay community, I've had a lot of time to think.

I've heard the political left say "gun control" and "mental illness" and the political right say "Muslims" to push their agendas. I've heard extreme Christian and Islamic groups say "Gays deserve it" and citizens already claiming that their gun rights shouldn't be infringed upon.

I've heard political outcry against the American justice system, against men, against women. I've heard one of the most horrible things one person can do to another described as a "20 minute" indiscretion, and listened to more than enough people say "well she was drunk and dressed to party".

I don't want to address any of these ideologies one way or another; if I did this post would become a book. I want to address everyone. Not just US citizens (of which I am not one, by the way) but people all over the world.

Not politicians or activists, not victims or perpetrators, I just want to talk to you and ask you this one question:

Aren't you tired?

I'm really fucking tired.

All of this, all of it, just boils down to hatred. 

Anna hates Brad because he's a "fag", Brad hates Amit because he's a "Camel Jockey", Amit hates Allen because he's a Jew, and Allen just doesn't like women.... round and round it goes.

It doesn't even have to be so politically or socially charged. Maybe there's someone in your life that you hate because you just don't like them. You call them "Bitch", "Slut", "Dick". You whisper behind their back to your friends in the spirit of taking them down a peg.

Seriously? Aren't you tired?

Don't you think it's time to let go of that hate?

Do you really want to have THIS be your role model?

The amount of energy that goes into hating someone is enormous. No matter the reason. And I don't mean occasional anger at the guy who cut you off on the highway, I mean full blown HATRED.

Hatred is a waste of energy.

I mean really, what are you getting out of it? Do you feel better? Is it making your LIFE better? Do you feel smarter, prettier, safer, happier for all this hatred?

I'm guessing you probably don't. I'm guessing that if you took 5 seconds to really actually THINK about it, you'd realize that all you do is spend your precious time thinking about something you DON'T LIKE.

So here's what I'm suggesting: DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Seriously, it doesn't matter who you are or how old you are, just do something else. 

You don't like gay people and don't care to learn? Your loss, but OKAY! Rather than waste your time building hatred in yourself and your community, read a fucking comic book.

Not a fan of women? FINE. You're kind of a prick but rather than hurt one emotionally or physically, why don't you play a game of mini golf?

You're not a big fan of non-whites? I wish I could make you educate yourself, but I can't. So instead of breeding all that hatred, why don't you learn a new skill or broil yourself a steak or something.

If you find yourself drifting into hateful acts or words in your day to day life, take a minute and think "what am I gaining from this" if the answer is "not a damn thing" then you can just DO SOMETHING ELSE. 

One of the wonderful things about life is you can remove yourself from the things you don't like (outside of having to wait in lines to renew your license). 

No one is telling you you need to be completely accepting of everybody so we can all hold hands under a rainbow. The phrase is "live and let live", tolerance, that's it. 

Don't seek out the things that you don't like in hatred, just to prove whatever point you're trying to make. Go to the park with your kids instead.

Hatred is exhausting. If you're actively engaging in hate speech or acts or thoughts in your day to day life, you're wasting precious time that you could be using to make yourself actually FEEL better, smarter, prettier, happier or safer.

Life is short, why fixate so much on what it is that you hate about it?

Let it go.