Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Wedding Wednesday: Letting Go Of My Childhood Make Believe Wedding

Like any little girl, I played wedding a billion times.
As I got older I drunkenly told at least 30 different women "I love you, one day you'll be my bridesmaid!" and pictured the EXACT big white dress I would wear to marry my tall dark and handsome faceless man.
But a funny thing happened when Kris and I started dating and I realized he was IT: All the things I had always thought I would want (dress, venues, music, flowers) got SUPER fuzzy (even though he is tall, dark and handsome).
The wedding that I wanted became this thing of the past as it was replaced with the life we were building together.
OKAY: that sounds SUPER cheesy I know, but now I find myself engaged (finally, like FINALLY!) and I am totally clueless about those BIG details that came so easily when I was younger.
So here's what I have decided about that: I'm good with it.
I am completely fine with letting go of the wedding I wanted as a girl, to plan the wedding that we want as adults... knowing full well I'll probably still plan about 90% of it, but dammit Kris want's orange so I'm making it one of our colours (even though I wouldn't have picked it). And while we both wanted a more traditional ceremony, we've talked over the benefits of a first look, and I think we might do it!
The truth of the matter is this: I really don't care what kind of flowers I get, I'm sure they'll be pretty. I'm not too concerned about crafting the most beautiful place cards that ever graced a table, and I'll survive if I'm not getting married in a barn at sunset (which would be super bad for Kris' asthma).
I was also 100% clueless about my dress. CLUELESS. I had no idea what I wanted so my mom and I went so I could try on EVERYTHING (turns out, I am NOT a ballgown or princess kind of girl).
As for my bridesmaids? I decided that 30 was probably too many, but I've picked 6 wonderful women who have been with me for over a decade (or two) of bad boyfriends, playing hooky from school, good news, terrible news, vacation fun, theater performances, rock star karaoke moments, tears, laughter and just growing up.
At least 4 of them got the drunk bridesmaid speech, and most of the other women will be there celebrating with me on the day.
So it's already not the wedding I had always dreamed of, and the jury is still out on whether it will be better (since I probably can't have an elephant petting zoo...) but I'm still so so so excited to be planning it, to have it, and (surprisingly) to put it behind me so we can just make this thing official already!
On the planning note...
We're signing away a large chunk of change this week to finalize our venue selection and date! Wedding planning is going to be more and more of a fixture in my life so expect regular Wedding Wednesday updates!
Some of them might just be me asking why I ever thought this would be fun...

Married? What were the things that surprised you about what you did on the day vs. what you dreamed up when you were younger?
Unmarried/planning? Do you have any vague notions of what you might want or are you clueless? I'm so curious!
xxox, Laura